One of the hardest things to deal with if you have an overactive mind is those irritating negative thought loops & spirals that keep you in inner child/victim mode & lower consciousness. I am not speaking from an ivory tower believe me. I have a highly developed monkey mind & have had for as long as i can remember!

Today was a classic example of my default pattern of making assumptions & projecting my judgements on others.

On exiting the Rustic Cup Cafe in Whitley Bay today, it was pouring with rain as I opened the door to 2 women closing & shaking umbrellas coming at me from the left & a delivery man with a large box on my right. Neither party stopped moving towards the doorway despite the other & we all converged in the centre.

They all whooshed past me, as I was forced to stop & avoid getting bumped into. I have a “thing” about manners & allowing people to disembark trains & leave exits before entering.I pulled my best shocked & disapproving face & moved on. The pattern I developed throughout my life was to instantly fall into victim mode, judgement & unworthiness. Making it all about me & not about them. Projecting my own insecurity & unfounded opinions on the perceived “offender”. Often my outrage would amplify, as my ego would attach to the situation. Judgements would fly about rudeness & lack of respect, which would often be fuelled by past memories & low self worth.

Today I noticed there was slightly less charge to the situation. I could feel the old patterns wanting to express, but having less hold than normal (due to the shadow work I do & more neutral observer mode I utilise now.) I keep hearing how others react to you, says more about them than it does about you & I know everyone is dealing with their own wounding. This may seem true, but we attract these situations to us through our energy dictated by our past experiences & the beliefs formed around them. If we believe people are inconsiderate & we are insignificant, those are the experiences that we will magnetise towards us, so that we learn from them & react differently. So everyone really does serve as a perfect mirror to the wounding we most need to shift in that moment.

Perhaps the people i encountered are needing to learn to have more patience or regard for others & be more aware of their actions & I am the vessel for that awareness, just as they are my teachers in how to not take things personally and not instantly come from a place of victim-hood & judgement, getting angry & letting it feed low self worth, as being ignored or unimportant.

It is my opportunity to see the lessons for both of us. Whilst I may not charge into others, they are reflecting a lesson i need to learn. In their defense, it was raining & I don’t know their individual situations or what was going on for them. They may have been preoccupied, in a hurry, deep in conversation or processing bad news. I will never know & don’t need to. All I need to do is stop the negative mind loop & behave in a way that is helpful for me. It’s not about disregarding bad manners, but having compassion for self & others.

In this reality people have a tendency to be self absorbed & self serving (literally service to self) as a default due to the fear program that has been drummed into us by the old controller system that is currently being deconstructed. This is not our fault.